The Boot Brawl

Well tonight I had an interesting experience. I stayed up late at my friend's apartment and I came out to find a boot on my car. There was a paper taped to my car saying I had violated parking rules and had to pay $65. My initial reaction was anger and frustration. That frustration obviously showed when I called the girl who had put the boot on my car to come take it off. Most of you who know me might find it hard to believe that I can be rude or get upset, but I have my moments when I feel wronged or violated in some way. In this instance I felt justified in my anger and I was rude and unkind to this girl who came to take my money and the boot. However she gave as good as she got and she said some things that even now I feel were a bit unjustified and unnecessary. Basically, the conflict escalated and I felt angry, hurt and exploited when she left. As she left I even gave her a nice long honk of my car horn to let her know my displeasure. However, as I drove home I reflected on how my own actions may have been out of line and contributed to the problem. First of all I realized that I had acted somewhat hostile from the very beginning, which considering she probably deals with lots of angry people in her job, put her on the defensive. Second I realized that she didn't make the rules (however just or unjust they might be) and for her this was probably just a way to pay for school. Finally, I realized that although I had acted rashly in an attempt to feel better about the situation, I didn't. I was still out $65 and I hadn't made anything better, only worse. I felt empty inside and guilty. Although I was incredibly afraid to do so, I decided to call her back and make a formal apology for my actions. I was afraid she would be angry and that I wouldn't do anything but make things worse. Thankfully that wasn't the case, and she accepted my apology graciously and she told me she really appreciated the gesture. I felt an immense burden lifted from my shoulders when I finished that call. For the first time since I saw the boot on my car, I felt peace again. I wasn't angry anymore. Sure, I still feel even now that she didn't act very professionally in the way she responded to me in the parking lot. I still feel a bit exploited and robbed. And I'm still $65 in the hole. But I rectified my own mistakes, and that is worth more than all the money in the world. I can't control the actions and words of others, but I can control my own. I'm probably going to have to deal with many rude, dishonest, and even hostile people in the course of my life. I tend to be very sensitive and I have a hard time dealing with those kinds of altercations and encounters. But I realize now that I will best serve myself and those around me by simply always treating others with the kindness and respect I would want others to show me. The Golden Rule. That doesn't mean I shouldn't stand up for myself under appropriate circumstances, but I can still control the way I respond. If I've learned anything tonight it is not to fight fire with fire, but with love, patience, and respect. Kill your enemies with kindness as they say. No matter what my enemy might feel he or she has won from me, as long as I act with dignity and honor, then I am the real winner. If it cost $65 to learn that lesson, then it was money well-spent.